For lack of a better word, I’ve been using “normal” or “my normal” to describe my future life after Long COVID. But what is normal?
Every new medical provider, and I’ve had lots of these this year, requires a new patient questionnaire. One of the standard questions is “how much alcohol do you consume?” I don’t know how to answer that question anymore. Do they want my “normal” or my current intake? And what is my “normal” alcohol consumption?
When I first got sick, I abstained from drinking because I felt so awful. As I reached some measure of equilibrium, I continued to abstain because of all the medications and supplements I started taking. Eventually, I asked and got the doctor’s okay to drink in moderation. But after trying a drink a couple nights with friends about 5 or 6 months into my Long COVID journey, I lost interest. My Long COVID vertigo strongly resembles being tipsy, and I see no point in intentionally inducing that sensation.
I occasionally speculate about which drinking habit I will resume when I return to “normal” – the one from right before I got sick or the one from my 20s.
In my 20s, I drank infrequently and typically only had one drink at a time. On very special occasions, I might have a second one. My friends teased me for drinking so little, but I had no interest in drinking more. When filling out the doctor’s forms, I would circle the monthly alcohol consumption option as the closest fit even though I didn’t drink that much.
By my early 30s, I had gotten a little bit looser about drinking through having more social happy hours and having figured out my taste for cocktails. But the COVID pandemic really changed my drinking habits. At first while hanging out with my COVID pod, I started drinking more. But when they all moved away, I developed a near daily drinking habit, though still only one or two at a time. After a day of remote work with little to no human engagement, I would take a walk and come home to an empty house. To break the monotony and stimulate some dopamine, I would then often mix a drink. My answer on the doctor’s forms changed to 3-5 times a week, with 5 being the more accurate number.1
During the quarantine and the continued disruption afterward, nationally there were calls to return to “normal” and then to a “new normal.” Near daily consumption of alcohol apparently was part of my “new normal.”
Long COVID is causing a similarly long and significant disruption to my life. Whenever this phase ends, perhaps I will return to a “new, new normal” that may more closely reflect my “old normal.”
- About a year before I got sick, I made a change in my life that increased my socialization, eliminating the need to use alcohol as a substitute. However, as there was typically alcohol whenever I was with friends, my rate of consumption stayed the same. ↩︎
Feature image credit: make a toast by Lucas Helle from Noun Project (CC BY 3.0)
Carolyn Ristau 
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