Two weeks ago, I slipped into panic mode as I was caught somewhere between ignorance and knowledge. I picked up one of the viruses that are going around this summer, and panicked that maybe there was something more going on.
Since my experience of appendicitis, I get anxious whenever my body responds to something in an unusual way. New Year’s Eve as a holiday the purpose of which is to stay up late to drink excessively and make a lot of noise has never appealed to me. Instead of marking the day by going to parties, on New Year’s Eve 1999-2000, my body developed an alternative tradition of vomiting, sometimes for no apparent reason, on the holiday. So when New Year’s Eve 2016-2017 came around and I vomited for 10 hours for no apparent reason, I thought nothing of it. When the excruciating abdominal pain started, it was odd and I was confused about what my body was telling me. But my mom said everything was fine, and before I found the right hormone treatment, a different kind of excruciating abdominal pain was a typical monthly experience. So I waited longer than I should have to go the ER, where we found out that my appendix had burst and the resulting swelling was strangling my intestine.
Now, whenever my body responds to illness or other irritants in a non-typical manner, I easily slip into panic mode, wondering if it is a sign of something more serious.
Two weeks ago, I got concerned when I developed a combination of nausea, suppressed appetite, low-grade fever, fatigue, cognitive impairment, and dizziness different than my daily Long COVID fatigue, brain fog, and vertigo. I tested negative for acute COVID, and then my gallbladder flared up again, adding to my fear that my body was trying to tell me something serious.
I don’t want to have to have gallbladder surgery, especially not while I’m in the compromised state of Long COVID. So I tried to find an alternate explanation for my symptoms and landed on Vitamin D toxicity. Based on the advice of my medical team, I had recently increased my Vitamin D supplement. But we were very careful about the amount because it is one of the vitamins that too much causes problems. When I looked up Vitamin D toxicity the list of symptoms matched mine one for one. Plus the Cleveland Clinic mentioned that a small portion of people experience these symptoms at a significantly lower amount than the average population. My new supplements put me close to that lower threshold. Anxiety now seemed justified.
However, after talking with my medical team and getting blood work to check my Vitamin D and gallbladder, I was persuaded to accept the position that I was just fighting a common virus of some sort. The reason my body was behaving oddly in response to the virus is because I have Long COVID. Part of my immune system is busy with Long COVID leaving limited tools and energy to attack the acute virus. This also means it will be a longer than normal fight against this virus or any other virus I may encounter while I have Long COVID.
With either greater ignorance (no appendicitis history) or greater knowledge (understanding of the limits/strengths of the immune system), I may not have fallen into panic mode over my body’s response to a viral infection.
Feature image credit: Panic by Andre Buand from Noun Project (CC BY 3.0)
Carolyn Ristau 
2 thoughts on “Ignorance is Bliss and Knowledge is Power”